My project was in memory and honor of my sister-in-law, Maya Anna Warren. She was a sister to me and an incredible aunt to our children.
Maya loved butterflies, flowers and the song “True Colors.” I wanted to visually portray that in my piece. I knew I wanted to mix my media and I knew I wanted to use pictures of Maya with her family because that brought her the most joy. When I was a teenager I loved to make photo collages and I decided to find pictures and words that expressed her essence while also expressing how I felt after losing her to suicide. So, as I worked through what I wanted to do, I decided to create a collage, with some painting as well. I created the piece with a butterfly as the main subject and then added the pictures of Maya and pictures from magazines inside to form a collage then painted around it to form even more colors of the butterfly to help it take shape. My vision was bright colors and her photos surrounded by the other pictures and words to embody both Maya and my feelings. When I presented my project, I took pictures of the collage and played “True Colors.”
“family meant everything to maya and while she lived in a space of shadows for much of her life, she also lived a beautiful life bringing color and light to many.”
At one point in Maya’s life when she was going through a lot, she moved in with an aunt in Maryland. A few months later she decided to move to Richmond where we live so we could help her get on her feet. I went to pick her up and drive her down. On that car ride I had a mix CD and the song “True Colors” played. She just started crying in the car next to me. She told me how it was one of her favorite songs and how she needed to hear it. That moment always stuck with me. So, I felt it was meant to be a part of my piece and why I wrote the lyrics on the painting and played it during my presentation.
Creating my project helped remind me of the good in spite of the pain she felt and we all were feeling. It helped me realize good/happiness and bad/sad can exist at the same time. It allowed me to honor her and the beautiful life she lived and it gave me a place to show the way she lived her life, as well as expressing my rollercoaster of emotions. Since my husband lost his sister, his last remaining family member, for a long time I felt uncomfortable having grief when I knew how deep my husband’s pain was.
“to anyone thinking about creating a project to process their grief – don’t hold back. any feeling is valid and however you choose to express yourself is what matters most. this is your chance to feel what you want to and move through the pain of the loss.”
I was so concerned about the other members of my family after losing Maya and making sure they were okay that I pushed my grief to the side. Creating this allowed me my space and time to grieve with the support I needed from people who understood the complexity of suicide loss and helped me navigate it all. I have a forever family with my group and I am so very grateful.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Darcy.
sunday conversations, season two